The Curmudgeon Quarterly Review (we’ve apparently upgraded our rag to a Review recently) received this spirited reply to the harsh words of the Curmudgeon High Council, which we reprint in full:
Dear Curmudgeon High Council,
I extend heartfelt gratitude to you for the high praise accorded my “marvelous poetic” effort submitted for publication in your much-vaunted Curmudgeon Quarterly Review.
With regard to your citing (though with gentlemanly criticism) what you, The Curmudgeon High Council, consider ill-conceived or misleading presumptions (on my part) of Curmudgeon behavior, I must offer a defense thereto, even as I pledge respect for the tacit ‘gag order’ on such matters among your group:
Given personal and extensive ‘exposure’ to similar collegiality (notwithstanding the fact that the athletes in question were then college ‘ruggers’ and considerably more juvenile than your Esteemed Curmudgeons), I count myself qualified to speak and write about the glue of sentimental ethos — verboten to be acknowledged by most practitioners of manly attachments via questionably peaceful warring in sport. Need I say more? (BUT, if I do: My intention is not to offend closeted sensibilities, eager as I am for ultimate publication as well as a continued affiliation with your august group! That said, I trust that my words of presumptive ‘misperception’ would have little-to-no effect on Curmudgeonly-essential gloating over wins as expected and deserved payback for “humiliating beatings.”)
Per your suggestion, I am pleased to forward copies of Curmudgeons at Court for the advance reviewof all Curmudgeons and Apprentices within your infamous band.
With sincere appreciation (and advisedly implicit discretion),
Wife #1
The Curmudgeon Quarterly 