Only Curmudgeons could be so base as to eschew compliments, but that’s just what they have done. After we published the epic ode to Curmudgeon Tennis, we heard loud and clear from the Curmudgeon High Council that its members are in fact, well, grouchy. So we’ve published their passive-aggressive response to the poet in full below:
The Curmudgeon High Council wishes to express its sincere appreciation for your marvelous poetic submission for publication in The Curmudgeon Quarterly Review. We are also grateful that you have chosen our world renowned magazine over that lefty, commie New Yorker rag.
Clearly you have labored many hours to capture the heart and soul of Curmudgeon-ness and exhibited exceptional talent in metaphorical language and rhetorical syntax.
With reference to the above we do find, however, that some of your assumptions of Curmudgeon behavior do not jibe with Snopes or various other fact checking sites. For example the presumption that we all get along and appreciate each other regardless of weekly results is somewhat misleading.
In truth we gloat over our wins and take immense satisfaction in our opponents disillusionment over a loss – especially if it happens that they endured a humiliating beating. Our appreciation of your tome is in no way lessoned by your unintentional misperception of collegial Curmudgeon-ness.
More importantly, the other Curmudgeons as well as Apprentices will want to have advance viewing of your work (prior to publication) to celebrate your splendid poetic masterpiece. Please email a Word copy of Curmudgeons at Court so that it can be shared with our infamous band.
With snarly, grumpy and irascible gratitude,
The Curmudgeon High Council
The Curmudgeon Quarterly 