Category Archives: Uncategorized

Regular readers know that the unspoken, but golden, rule of the Curmudgeons is that are not only geezers, but that they are guys. They would no more invite women into their club than in their younger days they would invite girls into their tree fort. However, in a rare surge of brain activity, Grand HighContinue reading “Curmudgeons Bow to the Ladies”

One of the founding members of Curmeudgeon tennis has unfortunately decided that either the competition is too tough, or the weather is too good for him. Bill “I can bounce the ball over the net 999 times out of 1000” Leckonby is moving to Rossmoor (I assume because he has the smart sense to followContinue reading “Leckonby Honored”

For the first time ever, a co-founder Curmudgeon has given up their post. There is wild speculation about whether the Honorary Doctor of Curmudgeonry, Bill Leckonby, had decided that he was no longer competitive, or that he was hoping to find more agreeable opponents. Either way, he is headed off to the East Bay, whereContinue reading “Geezer Gives it Up”

Aspiring to get in on the groundswell of popularity emerging for Curmudgeon Tennis, there is no shortage of fans coming out of the woodwork. Our phone lines are swamped with those hoping to learn what it takes to become a Curmudgeon (Spoiler Alert: Get old, grumpy, but still sentient enough to write pithy emails. ExtraContinue reading “Adoring old guy idolizes curmudgeons in mediocre verse”

You might think, if you were poorly-informed, that our septo-octo-nearly-nano-generian Curmudgeons would be hunkering down in their prepper bunkers thanking their lucky stars they weren’t in a hard-hit nursing home at the start of the Covid-19 crisis. But as our loyal readers can probably guess, our local immortals are already back on court. Realizing thatContinue reading “Curmudgeons Re-Open After Covid-19 Hiatus, eschew tests in favor of t-Shirts”

Covid-19 has caused no lack of changes in how we live, but today has brought one of the most astonishing. The normally isolationist Curmudgeon High Council is considering mass adoption of members into an extended family. This shocking development has been caused by the re-opening of their beloved Tennis Courts to families only. Unfortunately, thisContinue reading “Curmudgeons Consider Going Communal”

In a stunning attempt to seize power over all Curmudgeon dealings, the Grand High Curmudgeon has used his storied past to consolidate his reign. Leveraging the undeniable fact that he is nearly 2/3 Titanium, an ancient metal, (and 1/3 Cutty Sark), he is claiming that instead of being merely really old and sort-of cranky, heContinue reading “Grand Curmudgeon Claims Papal Invincibility, Tries to Grab Power”

We are proud to announce the ascension of two current and fledgling curmudgeons. “Backboard Bill” has been promoted to the rank of Senior Curmudgeon upon the clockwork-like passage of the 80th anniversary of his birth. “Cynical Craig” likewise has edged closer to the Associate Curmudgeon status he so desperately wants, at least based on hisContinue reading “Celebrating Ascending Curmudgeons”

After several days of grumping about the cancellation of their bi-weekly geriatric tennis matches, The Grand High Curmudgeon took to the airwaves to explain that their group is uniquely positioned to tackle one of the newest challenges created by the COVID-19 Virus. In an email to their members, he writes: “We are now inundated withContinue reading “Curmudgeons React To Social Distancing”

After realizing that his family’s ancestral home, Fort Ord, had become a toxic waste dump full of old artillery shells, Supreme Curmudgeon Ord cleverly pawned it off at below market rates to various arms of the government. He used the proceeds to develop his wildly-profitable Yellow Fever vaccine, in memory of his formerly-famous Uncle EdwardContinue reading “Curmudgeon turns housing activist”

The Curmudgeon’s fame as the premier collection of senior tennis players in Silicon Valley is under threat, as another group of tennis veterans with 200 years of playing time between them have stolen the limelight with a featured mention in the widely-read Alpine Hills Weekly Update. The Weekly raved about the quintet: “There are fiveContinue reading “Curmudgeons Up-staged by real tennis veterans”

It didn’t take long after the inaugural publication of the Curmudgeon Quarterly (Review) for it to become embroiled in controversy. As an homage to the storied history and decades of impressive achievements of the Curmudgeon High Council, an image of the scene of their youthful triumphs is featured on the Review’s website. However, the CHCContinue reading “Controversy Erupts over Clubhouse Photo”

Not realizing the futility of her efforts (after all, once your opponent cites memory loss as one of their major attributes, how far are you going to get?) our heroic poet has taken another stab at setting the record straight, in this well-written letter: Dear Curmudgeon High Council, Please send a list of the ApprenticeContinue reading “Poet Doesn’t Know When To Quit”

In a missive worthy of the Grinch Who Stole Christmas the Curmudgeon High Council (CHC) is determined to prevent others from mistakenly assuming they are a bunch of enlightened, woke, individuals of high moral character. They made this point in yet another slightly-hard-to-decode missive to the author of the only piece of literature ever writtenContinue reading “CHC Insists Curmudgeons Shouldn’t be Put on a Pedestal”

The Curmudgeon Quarterly Review (we’ve apparently upgraded our rag to a Review recently) received this spirited reply to the harsh words of the Curmudgeon High Council, which we reprint in full: Dear Curmudgeon High Council, I extend heartfelt gratitude to you for the high praise accorded my “marvelous poetic” effort submitted for publication in yourContinue reading “Anonymous Poet Does Not Take Slight Lightly”

Only Curmudgeons could be so base as to eschew compliments, but that’s just what they have done. After we published the epic ode to Curmudgeon Tennis, we heard loud and clear from the Curmudgeon High Council that its members are in fact, well, grouchy. So we’ve published their passive-aggressive response to the poet in fullContinue reading “Curmudgeon High Council Sets The Record Straight”